Etermal Hangover

I have what feels like an eternal hangover, not the kind that is fixed with some greasy chips and an afternoon in bed, but the kind that torments you all day, a roller coaster of queasy stomach, unquenchable thirst and  a headache  that pulsates your eyeballs like a boom box.

This is my third rendevouz with my arch enemy 'morning sickness'. Each time it rears its ugly head I feel confident in a 'you are not going to beat me this time!' way and everytime by day three I am left whimpering in the corner, like an abused puppy tail between my legs begging for it to stop.

Yet a funny thing has happened this time around, a strange phenomenon that I have put down to maybe maturity, experience, resolve I am not sure which but it is a positive and amidst a dreary forecast of sickness, with a low of vomitting and a front of chronic fatigue I am holding onto anything I can get.

This phenomenon draws on the deepest strengths of being a parent, it is an instint much like a need to survive that propels me forward, I get out of bed in the morning, I smile at the girls, play with them, feed them, change nappies, drag myself to the park. If you had asked me on baby number one when I had all day to luxuriate in my morning sickness, lolling in my bed with lemonade iceblocks, sleeping in till 11am and munching on take-aways everynight, if you had asked me then if I could cope with two toddlers during that six weeks of hell I would have told you it was physically impossible.

But impossible is not in a mother's vocabulary and so from the depths of so much negativity at the moment I am shown a ray of something positive, I feel I have graduated... to being a true blue adult, mother and just in general a strong person handling what life is dealing out. This may all sound a little dramatic, I dont claim to be anything otherwise!

But morning sickness effects all of us differently and for me it effects me physically, emotionally and mentally. When I got pregnant with Sienna, I went to see my Dr a week before I took the pregnancy test, I was in a real pit of depression, I had no cause for its onset, it was powerful and swift, it knocked me flat on my arse to be quite blunt and I was diagnosed with a case of Pre-Natal depression. So this time around I have been very careful, watched for the signs and tried to be very kind to myself.

As women it is a real gift to be able to share our experiences of pregnancy and motherhood, which is why we share our labor stories with the same enthusiasm as tales of war battle, it is the common thread that bonds us. So I encourage you if you have a pregnant friend, share your tips for getting through the tough days, offer words of advice or my favorite tell her of an incident of rage where you threw the tomato sauce at your husband for not telling you, how beautiful you look in all your pregnant glory. Basically what I am getting at is, share stuff you wouldn't usually share, because when you are pregnant and vulnerable you want to know others have been there too, you want to feel the security of a network of women who really get where you are coming from like only a mother can.