Etermal Hangover

I have what feels like an eternal hangover, not the kind that is fixed with some greasy chips and an afternoon in bed, but the kind that torments you all day, a roller coaster of queasy stomach, unquenchable thirst and  a headache  that pulsates your eyeballs like a boom box.

This is my third rendevouz with my arch enemy 'morning sickness'. Each time it rears its ugly head I feel confident in a 'you are not going to beat me this time!' way and everytime by day three I am left whimpering in the corner, like an abused puppy tail between my legs begging for it to stop.

Yet a funny thing has happened this time around, a strange phenomenon that I have put down to maybe maturity, experience, resolve I am not sure which but it is a positive and amidst a dreary forecast of sickness, with a low of vomitting and a front of chronic fatigue I am holding onto anything I can get.

This phenomenon draws on the deepest strengths of being a parent, it is an instint much like a need to survive that propels me forward, I get out of bed in the morning, I smile at the girls, play with them, feed them, change nappies, drag myself to the park. If you had asked me on baby number one when I had all day to luxuriate in my morning sickness, lolling in my bed with lemonade iceblocks, sleeping in till 11am and munching on take-aways everynight, if you had asked me then if I could cope with two toddlers during that six weeks of hell I would have told you it was physically impossible.

But impossible is not in a mother's vocabulary and so from the depths of so much negativity at the moment I am shown a ray of something positive, I feel I have graduated... to being a true blue adult, mother and just in general a strong person handling what life is dealing out. This may all sound a little dramatic, I dont claim to be anything otherwise!

But morning sickness effects all of us differently and for me it effects me physically, emotionally and mentally. When I got pregnant with Sienna, I went to see my Dr a week before I took the pregnancy test, I was in a real pit of depression, I had no cause for its onset, it was powerful and swift, it knocked me flat on my arse to be quite blunt and I was diagnosed with a case of Pre-Natal depression. So this time around I have been very careful, watched for the signs and tried to be very kind to myself.

As women it is a real gift to be able to share our experiences of pregnancy and motherhood, which is why we share our labor stories with the same enthusiasm as tales of war battle, it is the common thread that bonds us. So I encourage you if you have a pregnant friend, share your tips for getting through the tough days, offer words of advice or my favorite tell her of an incident of rage where you threw the tomato sauce at your husband for not telling you, how beautiful you look in all your pregnant glory. Basically what I am getting at is, share stuff you wouldn't usually share, because when you are pregnant and vulnerable you want to know others have been there too, you want to feel the security of a network of women who really get where you are coming from like only a mother can.

Birthday Wishes

Im holed up in my bedroom at the moment, curtains drawn, lamps on, Sade's 'Soilder of Love' is playing on Itunes. I have just spent an hour in the bath lathering myself with lotions and potions. This is not my usual morning activity but today is my birthday.

I didn't  have a list of things I wanted to do today. But I did have a few things I didn't want to spend my birthday doing:

• NO Cleaning - I am self confessed clean freak, I love to have the house spic and span it gives me a sense of order and control.  I just peeked into the kitchen and it took all of my willpower to not tidy the dirty breakfast dishes and smeared highchair. Today I am not going to Clean!!
• NO Rushing - Ask any of my friends that know me well and they will say I have one speed, and one speed only and that is Maximum. Its stimulating having lots of things on the go, projects, appointments, catch-ups with friends but the problem sometimes presents itself where I cant wind down. Today I didn't want to plan massage appointments or lunch dates because I just wanted to BE. I need that at the moment, I feel a call deep within my soul asking me to just BE STILL. 

So as a result of the things I don't want to do, here I am..... cozy in my bedroom, my safe haven, with nothing but time, time to write, a past time that soothes my soul, time to read, time to nap, listen to music and reflect on becoming 29.

Au Pair? Oh Yes!

Today I had a meeting with Birte from the Au Pair for Kiwi Kids Company.

Two years ago in the June/July Issue of Little Treasures I stumbled across an article called "Au Pair? Oh Yes!" The first line caught my attention "Another pair of hands has made the world of difference to these busy families.... and it doesn't cost a fortune". It  introduced three different families who had hosted Au Pairs, logging a typical day in the life.



I found this link which gives a great definition of an Au Pair:  
The word "Au Pair" is a French term, which means "on par" or "equal to", denoting living on an equal basis in a reciprocal, caring relationship between the host family and the children. An aupair will typically be a young woman and sometimes a young man from a foreign country who chooses to help look after the children of a host family and provide light housekeeping. The aupair is given room and board and is typically paid a weekly "pocket-money" salary. Aupairs generally stay with their host family for one year. 

When I discovered I was pregnant with our 3rd child, (after I got over the initial shock), I couldn't help but worry "how will I manage"? not just "it's going to be hard work" but literally how will it be humanly possible with two hands and only 24 hours in a day to look after three kids under three! Especially since I am flying solo half the time.

There are a lot of amazing single parents out there, who have managed with three (or more for that matter!) on their own, in fact I have a few as friends and have huge admiration and respect for them. But all of them will openly admit, it was VERY challenging at times, especially during those pre-school years.

So I found myself asking this question, "What are the most important things I want to acheive and preserve after baby number 3 is born?" Immediately the word BALANCE popped into my head.

BALANCE is a mantra I try to live my life by (I hope to do a blog series on BALANCE for a full-time mum) I appreciate the uniqueness of us as individuals I know that  people handle pressure, chaos, deadlines, tragedies all in different ways. I have suffered from bouts of depression and anxiety over my life, Im not ashamed to admit that. So I know what sets me off.


To achieve balance in my life I need to:

• Feel connected in my marriage (which takes "alone" time), have a meal out from time to time, a walk on the beach, a movie, even half a hour chat over coffee.

• Have time to socialise without my "mummy badge" on, this could be a marathon chat on the phone with a friend, a night out dancing, or just a walk with a girlfriend, its more about connecting as woman to share in life's up and downs than what we are doing.

• Have time to pursue my individual interests. I love going to day-time movies by myself (Chris thinks this is weird!), reading the display mags at the library on a rainy afternoon, trawling the interior decorating blogs for inspiration, planning my next house project and of course shopping! 

• Spend one on one time with each of my children; to do things that they really love. Take Bianca swimming or make playdough caterpillars and autumn leaf collages with her. Walk Sienna to the park on her own, or build her sandcastles that she can smash down in the sandpit. The times I spend one on one with my kids is the times their individual character really shine through, I get an extra clear window into who they are as people.

So back to my meeting today.... For me an An Au Pair will be a key component in keeping this BALANCE in my life. She will help with the frantic mornings, coercing children into clothes, the breakfast meltdown, getting those first loads of washing and even the slow cooker on for the day. An Au Pair will free me up to enjoy precious bonding and long breastfeeding sessions with my newborn and quality play-time with the girls.  She will be able to take my girls to their activities such as gym and music class and (this is the luxury part!) be available to babysit two evenings a week so that Chris and I can enjoy time as a couple.

We are in the process of finding an Au Pair that will suit our family dynamics, I will be keeping you posted!

New Chapter

Hi World!  To reflect a new chapter in my life I have renamed my blog Mummy Memoirs.

I am excited to share the highs and lows of my third pregnancy, life with two toddlers and my addiction to all things pretty in interior design.

I love blog writing! I follow inspiring blogs written by women with full and interesting lives.  I laugh at their experiences and appreciate their openness.I hope others will feel the same way about this Blog.

You can follow Mummy Memoirs by clicking on the 'subscribe button' to the right of this post. I get a real kick out of knowing friends (and future friends) are listening to my ramblings and maybe even identifying with some of them too.

So come along for the journey and always feel free to share your comments with me.