My first week with an Au-Pair

Lisa-Marie has been here one week, it has been very busy. I have had the chance to meet some other Au-Pairs and even from brief meetings I feel as though Lisa-Marie is the best fit for our family.

The differences in our cultures require adjustment for Lisa-Marie. For instance in Germany they have their main meal at lunch-time. For me there is a lot of wondering if she thinks us strange! I have tried to relax and just be myself.

In teaching her all aspects of her position I am learning to explain carefully and not overload her with information. Everything I do from packing a nappy bag for an outing, to preparing lunch for the kids, she needs to learn. This can be challenging for my pregnant (muddled) brain!

It has been beneficial to see all my day to day tasks in a fresh light. I have noticed Bianca's craft box needed re-stocking with new paints and pens. Sienna's toy box has had a sort out and new play-doh has been made. My next task is to make a list of all the 'at home' activities Lisa-Marie can do with the girls, also helpful for me on those rainy home days.

This morning Bianca and I went to a puppet show at the Theatre Royal and Lisa-Marie was at home with Sienna. I thoroughly enjoyed the one on one time with my three year old, she was able to chat away to me without interruption and with my undivided attention.


So as Week 2 approaches Lisa-Marie will have her first cooking night, where she will prepare tea for the family and I will have Wednesday morning free while Lisa-Marie is in sole-charge of the girls at play-centre.

Egg Carton Flowers

It is often on a rainy day that I get out all the messy gluey crafts. I am a bit of a neat freak and the sight of smeared paste and feathers does send my pulse racing. But the girls love it.

Making Egg Carton Flowers is an activity I enjoy - using cut up egg cartons, pipe cleaners and feathers. It is a nice hand-made gift for kids to give to grandparents, with a message attached or a little friend on their birthday.

Lisa-Marie Has Arrived

Yesterday evening I picked Lisa-Marie, our German Au-pair, up from the Airport. I felt immediately at ease, as  though I had known her for quite some time.

She has transitioned so well into our family in just 24 hours. It is an overwhelming experience for her, a new country, language, family, foods and culture. I told Sienna she was a 'silly billy' tonight and Lisa-Marie asked what that meant. It is going to be a very educational experience for all of us, as I learn about the differences in our lifestyles.

The girls have taken to her already. She is calm and softly spoken which puts small children at ease. I took this picture tonight as both girls cuddled up with their bottles before bed. 

I don't think I realised how nervous I was in anticipation for her arrival, but I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Tomorrow we head to Play-Centre which will be a busy experience for Lisa-Marie and in the afternoon she has her first time alone with Sienna, putting her down for a nap etc. This will mean I get to head off to an appointment childless, an unfamiliar and welcome change!

The Girls Re-decorated Room

Since finding out we were expecting a new addition I have been brainstorming, sketching, making lists and researching ideas for the girls shared room and I am thrilled with the finished results!  As my love of interior decorating evolves I am becoming more confident and decisive in my ideas and how I execute them.

  

Of course I am like most woman and get a rush from purchasing pretty things, but something that gives me far more of a buzz is producing a finished product from something that has costed me very little, up-cycling I've heard it called. I find so much fulfillment in turning trash into treasure, especially in such a consumer driven society. Most things in the girls room have been purchased and overhauled, making it a very cost efficient decorating project.

One of my main sources of inspiration is Flickr, you can click here to view my favorite pics.  You will see a common theme between some of them and my own projects. I like to take an idea and tweak it until it resembles the image in my head. There is nothing quite as exhilarating than when the two line up. I am pleased that with some of the ideas for the girls room, the finished product has surpassed my expectations. 

 

The picture wall was the project that took up most of my head space. When you are thrift shopping you don't have the luxury of walking into a store and buying exactly what you need. You have to rummage, spy and be patient, waiting for the moment when your eye is drawn to just what you need, and the satisfaction you feel the moment you do is worth it. My previous blog post, about my spray-painting addiction shows frames I picked up from here and there, and they will add the finishing touches to the wall. 

Sometimes I spot a gift card, like the babushka doll print in the bronze frame, they make inexpensive art, as does Children's pictures. I just love the butterfly painting Bianca made at Playcentre, it reminded me of making my own creations when I was small.

This day-bed was a buy sell swap purchase three years ago I brought it for my then office and since then it has been stored in the garage, it was very satisfying to have it back in use and I was pleasantly surprised with how easy it was to create the look I have so often seen on Flickr. I have an obsession with crochet blankets, the one on the bed is from Chris's nana. The cushions were blankets I picked up from the Sunday Market and then had sewn up. The cover on the mattress is Bianca's old duvet cover which I was ecstatic to find a use for, as it was just too pretty to store away.

Chris's Dad gifted us this cream wall unit, it was in need of some tlc but I could see its potential. Chris has made a wonderful job of spray painting it and the cupboards and shelves now house the girls treasures and art supplies, puzzles and books. 

With the curtains, busy cushion prints and colour everywhere I opted for plain white candlewick bedspreads, which I picked up for $18 from Trade Me. Paired with mix-matched pillowcases from op-shops, I like the contrast and freshness of the look.

There is a still a few things to go but all and all I am so pleased with the finished product. Now I have a little boys nursery to sink my teeth in, I am looking forward to the challenge, and bringing home a wee boy to put in it.

Craft Sunday

I have had a blissful morning alone to work on my crafts, thanks to hubby who has taken the girls out. For me there is nothing quite as enjoyable and satisfying than seeing my vision for a project come to fruition. I have been planning a photo wall for the girls joint bedroom for some time. Over the last six months I have collected frames from the Sunday market, brought some online, and fished around at the good old Warehouse. The result is even better than I imagined. (watch this space for my next photo posting of the finished room).

Today I worked on spray painting old gilted frames. As you can see I am all geared up in my gorgeous fashion accessories! Spray painting is one of my favorite mediums of decorating, mainly because I am an impatient person and it is fast and effective. The spraycans were $15 each from Mitre 10 and I will have plenty left for other projects in the future.

I picked up these gorgeous fabric frames from Etsy last Christmas and am so pleased to finally get them up. I simply picked up some clip frames for 50 cents from the Sunday Market and used a hot glue gun to attach, inserted a few pics and hey presto, here is the finished product. A perfect splash of colour on a citrus walls.

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Bunks Bunks and More Bunks

Just adorable bunks, what more can I say!

Love the painted white bunks and way this
linen is stylishly mismatched

These are just adorable and a clever use of space.
The curtains add a nice touch not to mention some privacy for the inhabitants

Kid's room

Kid's room
Originally uploaded by midcenturyjo

Just checking I can share my images from Flickr to my blog

Kids Room Inspiration Part 1

Well I am in the process to putting the girls new shared bedroom together. All of the planning is done and most of the purchasing. Now my very useful hubby is painting the furniture and very soon my vision will evolve before my eyes. The one thing that helps to get more creative ideas flowing is checking out inspirational photos on the net. If I have an idea in my mind, I research it and before long I have heaps of examples of how to create it.

I eventually want to have the girls in bunk beds, these are pretty as a picture

I love the retro wallpaper and the way the colours compliment the rocking chair

I want to do something similar to this book shelving in the girls room, makes so much sense to have the books facing out so they can see them

I am working on the girls day-bed at the moment, Chris just has to spray paint the frame and I have gorgeous crochet cushions all made up for it.

A print I brought off Etsy for the girls room

And this one

Three Steps to a new Friendship

Males and Females universally fear rejection. Its what stops people pursuing careers, lovers, life dreams and friendships.

Rejection no matter how justified tugs at our self worth. The stronger we are in ourselves the less this rejection affects us and the more we practice putting ourselves out there, the less of a hold it has over us.

It is quite common when I'm talking to people to hear comments such as 'I want to meet new people' 'I'd like to have more friends but I'm to shy or I don't know how to go abut it'. 

I want to simplify the process to make it seem a little less daunting and if you can just push past that fear of rejection and take these 3 simple steps, who knows, you might make a lasting and precious friendship.

Step 1 - Make Yourself Approachable
Ideally don't sit back and wait for someone to talk to you, but if you are just too shy to strike up a conversation, smile and make eye contact, say hi to people. I notice all to often at kids music groups, library tots time, Play-centre and Plunket groups (not specifically but all those sorts of places) its these friendly faces that draw you in.


Step 2 - Dont Procrastinate
So you've been bumping into the same person at different events quite a lot lately, or your husbands friend's wife was a hoot at that dinner party the other night. Maybe you had a coffee group and a friend brought another friend that you got on with like a house on fire. Don't just think to yourself, 'oh they were nice' and leave it at that, next time you see them make the first move, suggest a swap of cell numbers, or even better plan something right then and there, coffee the following week at a kid friendly cafe. If you have discovered you both enjoy walking suggest a beach walk. Both movie buffs, text about a movie you really want to see and ask them to come to.

Now I am not going to profess this to be the easy part. This is the part I definitely find the most difficult and its that fear of rejection that stalls you in your tracks. But if you look at it logically what is the worst that can happen? My experience is that the person says 'Oh I'm really busy this week, but I would love to another time'. Sometimes that 'another time' happens and sometimes not but by that stage I'm not too bothered and at least I have made the effort.

Step Three - Keep it Up
Its after the first catch up that Step Three kicks into play. Its at this step where a lot of people go wrong. So you get together and little Johnny and Annie play well, you laugh and chatter, discover you both enjoy cooking and exchange your fave reciepes, (you know what I mean, it doesn't have to be that boring by any means!) I'm just using an example. Anyway you go home thinking hey she's a really cool chick I feel like I've known her for ages, I enjoyed that catch up. If that's the case dont leave it there ladies!! Keep it up. Give it a fortnight and then ring and plan somethings else. It doesn't have to be all hot and heavy, we aren't talking about new romance here, just a gal pal you think is on your wave length.

A simple 3 Step Plan don't you think? Go out on a limb or respond to someone that has gone out on a limb for you, keep up the effort and over time you may see a friendship blossom.


Unlike some romantic relationships friendships don't happen overnight, sometimes you need a little history, to get to know each other's funny quirks, let things get comfortable.

It might seem like a lot of effort but honestly, as many of you will know, once you have that comradery with a friend it really is priceless. So take a leap of faith, stand up to the fear of rejection and if you feel like you need a new friend in your life, make it happen for yourself.

Friendships

I'd planned on writing a post on friendships for quite some time, but the topic seemed so vast that I kept putting it off. Until now....

Today's post is about my personal experience with friendships and what they mean to me. I'm going to continue over the next few weeks exploring female friendships including common problems faced, tips for making new friends and so forth (any suggestions on topics feel free to share) So sorry, today is all about me, me, me... tune out if you are bored already!

In primary school I was the leader. An only child until 12 I was bossy and that is putting it mildly. When I hit Standard 4 and the hormones of pre-puberty began to surge, the cattiness began. The 'lets not be friends with her anymore', 'she's not coming to my sleep-over', 'you're my best friend now', and all those typical girl drama's began. It was a precurious time, sometimes I was popular and sometimes I was on the out, and then oh how it was the end of the world!


What I learnt from these early friendships was a simple lesson;  if you back stab, stir trouble, exclude others and have a general mean spirit in friendship, this will be the types of friends you attract.

I wouldn't call the years between 13-17 my glory years. At times they were really hard, confusing and overwhelming. I didn't find a group at college that I felt I fitted in with. I was either too much of a rebel or not quite rebel enough. I longed for friendships that came easily, where I could be me. Although I'm not sure I even knew who 'me' was during this teenage years or self discovery.


One of my best experiences at the age of 17, was my part-time job at Just Jeans. I was taken under the wing by three girls in their mid twenties and I had a blast. They would dress me up and get me into the nightclubs (back when you needed to be 21), they had stylish flats and huge wardrobes, cute older guys to hang around with. I had friends (surrogate big sisters) with life experience that I looked up to in awe.

The turning point for me came at 21. I met two girls through a mutual friend and they became the bosom buddies I could tell anything. The type of friends where as long as they were by my side I could face anything. We lived out of eachother's pockets.  I felt so grateful to have finally found what I had been searching for in a friendship for so long.

It was at this time I realized an important key to my personality.  I preferred spending most of my time with a few really good mates.I felt most comfortable getting to know a couple of people really well as opposed to socializing with lots of different friends.

Kim, Kirsten and I were in-separable. we called ourselves the three musketeers and our group never grew. Although we would complain about this sometimes on the whole we built up too much history and memories  for anyone else to fit in easily. The uniqueness of the friendship was that three was not a crowd in our case, we could spend time one on one, or all together, no one ever got jealous and there was never any backstabbing between us.

We celebrated our 21st together, next came the engagements, then the Hen's nights. Kim and Kirsten were bridesmaids at my wedding and Me and Kirsten for Kim's wedding. Some years later I was also Bridesmaid  at Kirsten's big day. Each friend is a god-mother to Bianca and Sienna and Kim is the mother of my beautiful god-daughter Samantha.

The only time our friendships ever came to a curve on the road was at the 'starting a family' stage. We partied a lot, and when I fell pregnant a month after my honeymoon in Thailand (of which Kirsten and Chris's groomsmen Ry joined us) we entered into unknown territory.

But especially once Kim had Sam the bond between the two of  us became stronger than ever. I was at Samantha's birth wiping Kim's head with a cloth and sobbing as she held her baby girl for the first time. She rushed in the hospital room 20 minutes after Sienna was born saying 'damn I missed it'  and me replying 'sorry I didn't realise she would come out that fast!

Kim and I can chill out in comfortable silence, I can walk into her house and raid the fridge, I can disagree with her, be brutally honest, tell her my most embarrassing secrets.

The strange thing is that Kim and I actually dont have a lot in common. She likes sports, I would prefer a head cold than to play a game of volley-ball. I am passionate about make-up with drawers full of the stuff, Kim needs her Thin Lizzy if that. I'm better at philosophical and emotional conversation .  Kim will stop and chat to everyone she knows in the streets and is great at remembering names, and what people have been up to. 

Now that I have kids, I do feel the need for more than two friends. I now have friends I go for walks with, go to play centre and music class with, friends I can talk deeply and philosophically with and friends whom I catch up with at BBQ's every now and then.

Parenting is such a mammoth task and I have come to rely on my female friendships a lot more. Together we decipher what being a mother is about, bounce marital  issues off each other (that means bitch about our husbands), compare notes on the state of our post pregnancy bodies and the list goes in.... it really has become such an important and cherished part of my life.

So take some time to think about your friendships, ask yourself some of these questions...

Do you prefer to have heaps of friends and share your time around them all or just a special few?
Do you feel like you need more friends in your life?
Do you feel like you you have too many to spend time with them all?
Are there friends you have sadly outgrown?
Do you want to spend more time nurturing new friendships?

Priorities

Friday afternoon is my time off. Both the girls go to pre-school and I cherish my 'me time' . Today I went and watched Step Up 3D at the movies. The movies is up there as one of my most enjoyable down time activities, I generally like to go on my own, I always treat myself to popcorn and ice cream and I relish the chance to escape into another world if only for a couple of hours.

Friday's can also be a balancing act, half of me wants to do selfish leisuire activities and the other half wants to get useful things done i.e clean out the linen cupboard or tackle a craft project that needs finishing - like Bianca's Dolls House at present.

But what it comes down to is priorities and sometimes as Mothers our priorities need to be able to change. Am I tired today? In need of some relaxing time? or is the bathroom starting to become uninhabitable and in desperate need of a clean? 

A friend said to me the other day "How do you manage to put your make-up on every morning, I never see you without your 'face on', I'm lucky if I can manage some lip balm'" After a little thought I said "its the same as me asking how you manage to have lovely fresh baking in your cupboards all the time and  fresh pasta salad prepared with organic dressing and  farm fresh eggs to boot!" (My kids had a pasta snack for lunch that day) She laughed and it got us on the topic of priorities. For me 'putting my face on' in the morning makes me feel ready to start the day, I feel good about myself and that's an important aspect to being a good mother, in my opinion. To my friend if she has fresh meals planned and  prepared for the day ahead then she feels the same way.

So how do we determine what is a good priority and what isn't? In my opinion it all comes back to balance. I am passionate about fashion, skincare and make-up, but although I have the best intention organic and gourmet cooking are not at the very top of my list (they are not at the bottom either), but I am more likely to remember my lipstick than to remember to peruse my cookbooks for exciting new recipes for the week ahead.

So from time to time I start to beat myself up, why cant I be a super cook like this friend? why cant I be super fit like that friend? why cant I grow a gorgeous vege garden like this friend? (and the latest obsession is) why cant I sew and knit gorgeous kids jumpers and clothes like that friend? And the reason (drumroll please) that I cant do all of those things is that I am not fricking super human, there are only so many hours in the day and only so much energy a busy mum has.

So yes I can dabble with a from scratch chicken casserole, I can even make a batch of choc chip cookies, I can have a few pots of herbs in my garden and I can sew I cute patch on a pair of Bianca's trousers, but I cant do it all to perfection and I have to be happy with that.

We are happiest when we are pursuing our passions, the things we love to do, there is no point in trying to be like someone else because chances are if it isn't a natural talent the effort you need to put in will be exhausting.

Here are some useful tips I try to live by

1. Make a list of things you are good at AND you enjoy doing

2. Try new things but if you just dont 'feel it' then dont feel guilty for moving on

3. Try not to compare yourself to friends and others too much - taking a leaf from someones book is fine but taking too many and trying to glue them all into your own is too presurising.

4. Realise that prioritising 'you time' is important, healthy and beneficial to the rest of your family as well as yourself. The saying 'If Mum's not happy no one is', rings very true.

5. Sometimes we have to prioritise things that we dont enjoy i.e cleaning the bathroom - try to prioritise one 'must do' job a day so that you feel you are accomplishing without the whole day being tedious.

6. Share your feelings with a good friend, often it is others who see our talents and strong points when we take them for granted.

7. Remember to repay the compliment . Telling someone how much you admire a talent they havecan be a real highlight especially if someone is feeling a little stressed out or bogged down and lets face it we all feel like that sometimes xx

Ho Hum

Its a gloomy Saturday afternoon im sitting with my uggs and green tea, the girls napping and the house quiet for once. I've set myself a 15 minute time limit for writing, as I am working on Bianca's dolls house at the moment, wall-papering the rooms and carpeting, to have ready by her 3rd birthday along with a collection of Sulvanian families.

Well I'm approaching the half way mark of pregnancy. The things I like about this is that I have more energy, look pregnant instead of bloated and we will be finding out the sex of baby soon. The thing I don't so much like is my chunky thighs and increased weight. We went to the aquatic centre as a family this morn and I swear my bottom was gobbling up my bikini, oh well at least pregnancy gives you the excuse to look ridiculous sometimes.

Too Much of a Good Thing

 This picture doesn't have anything to do with this post it just cracks me up!

So I'm sitting at the computer and my body doesn't want to be here, it wants to be cozied up in bed reading 'Breaking Dawn' (the final in the Twilight saga) but my head needs to write, to free itself of stuff, words ramblings, thoughts... whatever.

Im bored at the moment, I dont mean right this instant... I'm sipping on my yoghurt berry smoothie actually, and feeling rather content with a peaceful house and a warm bed waiting for me. No what I mean is that at this point in time say give or take a few months Im just bored, super busy but unstimulated.

I know a lot of other mums of pre-schoolers feel this way, and its hard to express it sometimes because you don't want to appear ungrateful. Kiddies, especially our own, are medicine for the soul. Their chubby fingers linking into your hand, a sloppy kiss from a one year old. I watched my two cherubs in the rear view mirror  bobbing their heads in time with a Black Eyed Peas song today and it made my heart sing with love for them. The problem is that bringing up small children takes a shitload of time and energy.

I'll use this metaphor to get my point across -  its like someone asking for a sip of your coke on a hot day and polishing off all but the warm dregs in the bottom of the bottle. That's the equivalent of what I feel is left for me at the end of each day and I feel a little ripped off sometimes.

I do believe it is the difficult, challenging times in life that refine us, make us who we are and give us strength of character.  I will hold onto that belief as my head hits the pillow exhausted by 8pm tonight and remember that again when I feel a tap on my cheek at 5.45am followed by an angelic voice saying 'Mummy up now?'

So today I'm not writing a list of "How to have more Me Time" or "Sanity Saving Tips for Mum" I'm just thinking out loud, after all this blog "Mummy Memoirs" is about motherhood, highs and lows included.

10 Joys of Being Pregnant 3rd Time Around

10. Getting called a baby making machine - which for some strange reason I kinda like!

9. Buying pregnancy magazines and maternity clothes again

8. Thinking of baby names again, all of the maybe's from the last two times get another shot... if its a girl that is

7. Finding out the sex of the baby, nothing compares to that moment, when they say it's a ......

6. Decorating a Nursery again... my favourite hobby in the world

5. Having a pre-schooler that totally gets mummy is having a baby, and says the cutest things. Experiencing her excitement and wonder is definitely a joy

4. Knowing without a doubt that I CAN push this baby out!

3. Being over the morning sickness and knowing I wont have to go through it ever again, fingers (and legs) crossed.

2. Knowing if its a girl I have its wardrobe sorted for the first three years, and if its a boy being able to shop up a storm buying all new gears.

1. Feeling so privileged to be blessed with bringing another wee life into this world. Born into a loving and stable family in one of the safest and most beautiful countries in the world.

Jellybeans

There's a saying you may have heard "If you put a jellybean in a jar for every time you had sex with you partner before you got married, and then took one out every time you had sex after you were married you would never empty the jar". I believe there is some wisdom to this random saying, even if its merely the vague point of it. I however would change it slightly replacing the married part to before and after having children.

Sexual intimacy and the differences between men and woman is a vast topic, but one I have always enjoyed exploring, and so I scan the articles and watch the documentaries and engage in interesting conversation with both female and male friends, to get the juice on exactly what makes us tick in the bedroom. Don't worry this isn't going to be a post about 10 tips for a night of passion...

How do I approach this delicately.... ok well I cant so I am just going to put it out there so I can get on topic and say what I want to say. When you have kids or even after conception, a couples sex life enters a new phase. Now i know that there is a small percentage of woman that get horny as hell when they are pregnant but males if you are reading this that percentage is only 15% so don't get your hopes up.

Now every individual couple is different but there are some common issues that we tend to go through in our relationships, which is reassuring as we can feel like they are normal, natural and fixable if we feel we are not alone.

One of these issues is sex or lack there of after baby comes along. Here are some common complaints from both sides:

Female: "I have a little being that is attached to me like a koala all day, sucking the life out of my boobs and when I get my body to myself, I dont feel like sharing it!"
"When my head hits the pillow at night sleep is my only goal."
I just dont feel very sexy at the moment, my stomach is like a jelly pit."
"Am I always going to feel under this much pressure to put out??"

Male: " I just want to enjoy some intimate time without a beach ball being between us"
"I'm so glad to have you back to normal. Its not like the last nine months haven't been a bit dry, cant we make up for lost time?"
"Its not all about the baby I am still here you know."
"Is this the way its always going to be??"

So where do you go from here? Hey no magic spell to recharge that libido sorry ladies (and gentleman) but I can say from my interest in this topic that its commonly said, it just takes time and hypothetically I can give a big wink wink nudge nudge to this being right on the money.

Babies do bring couples together but they can also keep couples apart. The best thing you can do is be realistic, patient and understanding to work through it.