Friday's can also be a balancing act, half of me wants to do selfish leisuire activities and the other half wants to get useful things done i.e clean out the linen cupboard or tackle a craft project that needs finishing - like Bianca's Dolls House at present.
But what it comes down to is priorities and sometimes as Mothers our priorities need to be able to change. Am I tired today? In need of some relaxing time? or is the bathroom starting to become uninhabitable and in desperate need of a clean?
A friend said to me the other day "How do you manage to put your make-up on every morning, I never see you without your 'face on', I'm lucky if I can manage some lip balm'" After a little thought I said "its the same as me asking how you manage to have lovely fresh baking in your cupboards all the time and fresh pasta salad prepared with organic dressing and farm fresh eggs to boot!" (My kids had a pasta snack for lunch that day) She laughed and it got us on the topic of priorities. For me 'putting my face on' in the morning makes me feel ready to start the day, I feel good about myself and that's an important aspect to being a good mother, in my opinion. To my friend if she has fresh meals planned and prepared for the day ahead then she feels the same way.
So how do we determine what is a good priority and what isn't? In my opinion it all comes back to balance. I am passionate about fashion, skincare and make-up, but although I have the best intention organic and gourmet cooking are not at the very top of my list (they are not at the bottom either), but I am more likely to remember my lipstick than to remember to peruse my cookbooks for exciting new recipes for the week ahead.
So from time to time I start to beat myself up, why cant I be a super cook like this friend? why cant I be super fit like that friend? why cant I grow a gorgeous vege garden like this friend? (and the latest obsession is) why cant I sew and knit gorgeous kids jumpers and clothes like that friend? And the reason (drumroll please) that I cant do all of those things is that I am not fricking super human, there are only so many hours in the day and only so much energy a busy mum has.
So yes I can dabble with a from scratch chicken casserole, I can even make a batch of choc chip cookies, I can have a few pots of herbs in my garden and I can sew I cute patch on a pair of Bianca's trousers, but I cant do it all to perfection and I have to be happy with that.
We are happiest when we are pursuing our passions, the things we love to do, there is no point in trying to be like someone else because chances are if it isn't a natural talent the effort you need to put in will be exhausting.
Here are some useful tips I try to live by
1. Make a list of things you are good at AND you enjoy doing
2. Try new things but if you just dont 'feel it' then dont feel guilty for moving on
3. Try not to compare yourself to friends and others too much - taking a leaf from someones book is fine but taking too many and trying to glue them all into your own is too presurising.
4. Realise that prioritising 'you time' is important, healthy and beneficial to the rest of your family as well as yourself. The saying 'If Mum's not happy no one is', rings very true.
5. Sometimes we have to prioritise things that we dont enjoy i.e cleaning the bathroom - try to prioritise one 'must do' job a day so that you feel you are accomplishing without the whole day being tedious.
6. Share your feelings with a good friend, often it is others who see our talents and strong points when we take them for granted.
7. Remember to repay the compliment . Telling someone how much you admire a talent they havecan be a real highlight especially if someone is feeling a little stressed out or bogged down and lets face it we all feel like that sometimes xx
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